


We Are (built from broken parts)

by SpadesDame



Series: Pharaoh's harem, the sitcom [2]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Series
Genre: Afterlife, Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Polyamory, Post-Canon, Reunions, Soft Boys, and introspection, here there be fluff, there's many emotions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-02-07 15:11:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12843819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpadesDame/pseuds/SpadesDame
Summary: Reunions aren't always what one would expect. Sometimes there's hurt and misunderstandings. Sometimes there's laughter. Sometimes the love and devotion is all encompassing.Sometimes there's all three. They are home.





	1. Now my heart is finally open

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. I'm alive just barely.  
> As you can see, this is now multichapter, bc it was decided that it was a good place to start telling this story. It is also an exercise for me, to get back to writing seriously and challenge myself to finish a story. 
> 
> Shout out to Rae, for bearing w me <3 <3 <3
> 
> Fair notice, in case u r new to the series. Future Flareshipping as we move towards DSOD :) and then what we have taken to calling Jaspershipping, which includes all 5 good bois. 
> 
> {Chapter 1 Title from Hollywood Undead's song "S.C.A.V.A."}

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are, we are  
> We are made from broken parts  
> We are, we are  
> We are broken from the start  
> And our hearts, our hearts  
> They were beating beating in the dark  
> 'Cause we are, we are  
> We are built from broken parts
> 
> {Hollywood Undead, We Are}

He did not allow his body to register the trembling, or the chills racking up and down his spine or the spinning in his head until in the safety of his own rooms. He felt metal digging into his palm and upon inspection realized the formal pharaonic headdress was still clutched tight within his right hand. He threw it aside with a snarl and the action felt cathartic. It was finally time to be rid of the lie.

 _Atem_ was back.

A muffled huff of laughter sounded from behind him and Seth wheeled around, poised to strike. The room spun with him and it took him a moment to see Mahaad. To really _see_ him. The warm brown of his hair, the mirth in his eyes and the weary shadows under them that never managed to take away from his striking appearance. He was something otherworldly, yet human. _Human_ , Seth thought, like he hasn’t been in three millennia.

Mahaad’s –not the Dark Magician’s- lips twitched in a lopsided smile. “That’s an interesting look on you” and promptly erupted in a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

“You…” Seth’s chest felt heavy. Minutes –hours, years- ago Mahaad had looked at him and seen straight through him. Tied to Atem, in life and in death, always by his side and never to stray too far away. Seth had often wondered, a long time ago, where did that leave him? They had once been young and reckless and the world had seemed endless and forever. Whatever had blossomed between them they had taken in stride, teasing and loving and wanting their way into the Egyptian nights.

Until they couldn’t. One lover given to the shadows, the other locked away, his memory his to protect.

He did not remember walking. One moment he was across the room, the next all but a breath away from his long lost lover’s face. The dark sheen of his skin, the color of his eyes seemed almost new in the wake of the Dark Magician’s silent presence. He raised a hand, the limb heavier than expected, and stroked his fingers over the other man’s cheek. It was soft, but solid. Seth’s breath burned in his lungs.

He did not place the look of mischief on the sorcerer’s face until it was too late and a sharp sting snapped his senses into alertness. “Ouch, you fiend…” Seth rubbed at his abused chin. Mahaad shrugged, every inch as unapologetic as Seth remembered him.

“I guessed you won’t need that any more. Unless… you grew fond of the look in our absence?” Mahaad tilted his head, teasing and defiant even though Seth had him caged against the wall by that point.

“That hurt.” The harsh ripping of the fake beard. The absence. The wait. Mahaad laughed again and Seth caught his head in his hands and swallowed the sound, their lips sliding home for the first time in eons. Mahaad let out a long drawn out sigh through his nose, posture relaxing, his own hands finding Seth’s hair and letting it fall free of its elaborate style. Seth’s head was swimming, the motions coming to him like muscle memory tinged with longing and fear and pain he had not realized he still held in his heart. As if a dam had been opened, it came pouring out in their kiss until the second one came slower, easier. Mahaad, for his part, arms resting on Seth’s shoulders, fingers in a comfortable nest in his hair, seemed content to let him have his way, and when Seth’s hands found their way to his thighs to hoist him up he did not protest. With his long legs wrapped around his waist and his lithe body in his arms, Seth felt the first blooming of warmth come over his long dead heart. At last, with his loved ones it had returned.

Parting was harder still. Both of them kept going back in with eager lips and tender touches and soft sounds. A peck of the lips brought a dip of tongue, a playful nibble made a giggle and the laughter was swallowed whole by hungry mouths.

“Hey,” rasped out Mahaad between uneven breaths in a moment of respite.

 _Hey_ , Seth wanted to reply, but what came out of his mouth came closer to a sob. He was vaguely aware of his head being cradled, face pressed against soft skin and the methodical combing of his hair. He felt oddly distanced from his body and the feeling was all the more startling when compared to the awareness of mere moments before.

“Hush, now. I know.” Mahaad’s lips against his ear, his fingers squeezing the nape of his neck. “You don’t have to fight alone any more. Not another day.”

Seth clutched at him even tighter, fingers digging into white cloth to squeeze flesh as sobs wrecked through his body. He wanted to stop. He wanted to kiss Mahaad again, play with his hair, tell him he missed him. He wanted to hold him and Atem within his own two arms and never let go.

“I’m sorry,” was what came out of his mouth instead.

“What for. Seth, look at me.” He could not resist the pull of his real name falling from dear lips. Mahaad’s gaze was at once as intense as Seth remembered. Gods how he had missed him... “You are not to blame for the turns of fate. The only way to go from here is forward. So dry your tears, dear love and let us move on.” Mahaad reached for one of Seth’s hands and brought it to his lips, touch of a feather against each knuckle.

For a moment longer, Seth allowed himself the solace of Mahaad’s neck, breathing him in even as he nodded his acquiescence. He helped him ease to the floor again, accepted the touch of his thumbs under his eyes and kissed him once –a mere press of closed lips- before drawing back, the warmth of him lingering all over in a pleasant tingle.

They spent the night on Seth’s bed, their arms far more welcoming than the chill of the night or the silence all around them. They did not always speak, for they did not have to. Their presence said much more, in the whispers of their hands and the wake of their lips. In no time during the night did they lose any more articles than their heavy jewelry, and neither would be able to pinpoint the exact moment they had fallen asleep, but Ra was well situated on his throne on the sky by the time Mahaad blinked his eyes open against the light.

Golden rays fell on the bed, making Seth’s skin glimmer like something truly godlike and Mahaad was at once reminded that he was, after all, the cousin of their dearest god on earth.

He brushed Seth’s hair back from his face, tracing the angles of his jaw with the very pads of his fingers. He kissed his exposed shoulder, his bicep, the line of his shoulder. He pressed his nose against his nape and felt him stir, smiling against soft skin. Mahaad reveled in the ability to touch and to feel once again, pushing aside his memories as the Dark Magician. It was no time for lingering in the past. All of them had done their fair share of that. It was now time to move forward.

Seth’s groan was sleep mussed and heavy. “What are you-“

“Morning,” Mahaad offered, taking advantage of his awareness to turn him flat on his back in order for his lips to continue their path down his chest. Seth always slept naked, and even though he had not removed his undergarments, the same could not be said about the rest of his clothes.

“Someone’s in good spirits huh?”

Mahaad smiled. “Aren’t you?”

Seth’s sleepy grin was radiant enough to blind the gods. Mahaad did not care for sacrilege. “Yeah. Come here.”

He kissed him again, languid and unhurried but no less needy than last night. Mahaad swept his own hair to one side and propped his other hand on the bed by Seth’s head to keep upright as he gave back all the joy and longing he had not known he harbored while housed within his Ka. His free hand traced the lines of Seth’s chest, down his taut belly and lower still to find his prize.

Seth’s own hand seized his wrist before he could see to him. Mahaad broke the kiss. “You’re wanting. Let me.”

“It’s fine.” Seth lightly knocked their foreheads together. “Stop frowning. It’s alright.” Mahaad had not been aware of his facial expression. Seth went on. “As you said… there’s only forward to go. And I don’t know about you but I feel like I might spontaneously combust with feeling.” He kissed Mahaad’s wayward hand before holding it against his heart. “We’ll take it slow.”

Mahaad exhaled deeply through his nose until he could feel it deep in his lungs and nodded. He did not mention how uncharacteristic it was of Seth to refuse his attentions, rare as they were, allowing the thought to come and go. He kissed the very side of Seth’s neck in silent agreement and made to draw back.

He found himself being drawn back in.

Seth cleared his throat. “Just… stay a bit?”

Mahaad smiled, hoping the warmth in his chest would be conveyed through his eyes. “Of course.”

Seth watched Mahaad’s face as he settled down next to him, close enough to feel the heat of his body against his side.

He allowed his eyes to drift closed just for a moment longer and willed his brain not to think of the day that lay ahead of them. Because forward they might go, but the road ahead was far from laid out to them. There was Atem to look after, who at first appearance did not seem to take to the afterlife as easy as Mahaad. He had requested to be left alone shortly after their arrival and they were forced to respect his wishes.

Realizing it was futile, Seth opened his eyes with a sigh. It seemed his thoughts were as inexplicably linked to the other as his heart and his destiny.

“Seth?”

“Mmm.” He nuzzled Mahaad’s soft hair and smiled.

He would not be walking that path alone.


	2. My sweet prince, you are the one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for attempted minor self harm and ptsd
> 
> {chapter2 title from "My Sweet Prince" by Placebo}

 

 

 

Mahaad had not been conscious of drifting to sleep again after Seth's plea to stay for a while. He became quickly and vividly aware the moment the blinds were pulled open and harsh morning light streamed freely on the bed. Seth, stubbornly dead to the world, burrowed deeper between pillows and Mahaad's shoulder. Under his arm Mahaad could only blearily make out-

"Get up, lazyheads."

Seth groaned without relinquishing his position. "Go away Mana."

Mahaad blinked, trying to reorient himself until he could finally focus. She smiled and winked at him, expression familiar on a different face. Adulthood had treated her well. Her hair was longer, now pulled in a thick side-braid, bits and pieces framing a slimmer face. 

"What kind of Pharaoh sleeps until noon?"

"A dead one." Seth deadpaned, raising his head for the first time. "Now go." Mahaad took the opportunity to extricate himself from under Seth's arm, only to be pulled back in. "Not you. Who says I've had enough of you."

Mahaad smiled and leant down to kiss him on the forehead, cradling his jaw in one palm. The clinging did not surprise him, but the words were new. that gave him pause. Even a sleepy or intoxicated Seth was never this open with his words, choosing instead to hammer his feelings home using his hands and his body. If he had thought last night that Seth had been changed in their absence, he saw now that it had merely been the first wave of a dam that was long overdue to flow. He kissed him again, Seth's lips opening for him for a kiss that was wet but chaste; a promise not to let him be swept away. 

"I'm torn between adorable and gross." Mana's admission made him draw back sheepishly. She had her hands on her hips, smile still radiant. "I'll give you a pass for today, lucky you. Now up you go!"

Conscious of their tardiness, Mahaad slipped out of bed, collecting his jewelry on the way. Golden bracers snapped in place, weight both strange and familiar. The moment he accepted Seth's comb from Mana, he felt all the air being squeezed out of him. He let his arms fall around her shoulders, gentle where hers were tight. "You've grown," he noted, unsure of what else to say. 

"Old before my time, I'm afraid. I'm just glad I can't go gray in this place," she laughed, reaching up to comb her finges through his hair and pull him down to kiss his cheek quickly, before turning around to _yank_ the sheets off the bed. Seth yelped. 

He propped himself on his forearms, craning his head to glare at Mana. "What the hell!" Mahaad bit his lip to keep from laughing, combing his hair to busy himself. "What if I was naked?"

She turned her eyes to the ceiling. "It would be far from the first or last time." Seth huffed and turned his glare on Mahaad when he laughed outright. "Relax, tiger. You're not my type."

"Not even close," Mahaad agreed, dodging a projectile pillow. 

"You have like, all the wrong parts going on," she waved her hand in Seth's direction. 

"Who's being gross now," Seth complained, scooting to the edge of the bed. His mouth was twisted unpleasantly. "That would be like kissing a sister."

She hummed, caught Mahaad's eye. "True," she trailed off. He shook his head, starting to braid his hair, sure of what was to follow. She reached into the chest at the foot of the bed and pulled out several meticulously folded garments, handing Seth a choice of blues and yellows. "I'd have to be at least your first cousin."

"That stopped being a shock factor about three thousand years ago, Mana." He accepted the clothes and let them fall on the bed so he could sort through them. 

"Guess I'll have to try harder. Aha!" elbow-deep in the drawer, she lifted out most of the clothes, placing them in a neat stack on the bed to reach for a cream colored set of robes. She shook it out and had to hold her hands high above her head to keep it from dragging on the ground. She eyed him next and he smoothed his hands over his wrinkled clothes, aware that it was obvious they had been slept in. Finding her assessment satisfactory, she tossed the garment to him. 

" _Yes, sure, you can borrow that,_ " Seth mocked, trying and failing to snap a heavy gold collar over his clothes. Mahaad abandoned his second earring in order to untangle Seth's hair from the clasp. 

"Stop being a baby," Mana berated. Then, "I could put him in your colors. Or Atem's."

Mahaad coughed, felt heat rising to his cheeks to match the redness that came to spread from Seth's chest to his face. "That will suffice, Mana, thank you." He let his hands fall to Seth's shoulders. She had had no chance to offer another teasing remark when four sharp knocks came on the door in rapid succession. 

"Seth?" 

"Come in, Isis. It's a riot in here." Seth caught Mahaad's hand, stroking his knuckles before letting go to finish dressing. 

Isis poked her head through the door, taking stock of them before slipping fully inside. She smiled warmly at Mahaad and opened her arms for a hug. Isis, who had always been his closest friend that still remained on the other side of their private little world, so he accepted the gesture and returned it. "It's good to have you back," she said. 

"It's good to be back," he admitted when she took a step back from the loose embrace. She plucked the lone earring from his hand and he allowed her to hook it in place and fix the clasp for him. 

"I'm sure it is," she knowingly tilted her head, looking around to indicate the room they were in. "But I came here for a different reason," Isis said before he had the chance to be embarrassed. No doubt calculated. "I overheard some slaves just now say Atem dismissed everyone from the baths. I doubt he would take kinder to me right now, were I to check on him."

Mahaad frowned, caught Seth's eye to see his concern mirrored. Atem had apologised and excused himself shortly after their passing into the afterlife, looking overwhelmed. Unable to fault him, Mahaad had silently walked him to his rooms and left him with a promise to rest and talk tomorrow. He shook his head, drawing their attention. "Thank you for telling us, Isis. I'll check on him now." He smiled at Seth. "It wouldn't do to shrink your duties any more, dear."

"Go away." Seth grumbled, but it lacked in ferocity. "All of you, get out."

Isis offered to accompany him halfway to the baths, on her way to her own duties. They left Mana to make sure Seth went where he was supposed to be and walked out of the residential wing together. It wasn't long before Isis linked her arm through Mahaad's, a sympathetic hand on his elbow. "Worried about him?"

Mahaad blinked, realising he was frowning, his legs taking him through the palace mechanically. "You didn't see what the pendant did to his soul. Coming here... finding his name... I know what it feels like to have memories you didn't know you were missing returned to you. It's devastating." She squeezed his arm in solidarity. 

"He's stronger than his looks," Isis offered. 

Mahaad grimaced. "No one is made for that, Isis. I- When it happened, I had no time to think because I had him to protect. It was probably better this way. By the time I could sit and think, I knew who and were I was. I had a purpose."

Isis remained silent as she thought. "You also forgot, then?"

"It was... a tad more complicated," he began. He breathed deeply before expelling the air to ground himself. They were not pleasant memories. "My soul, it was tied to his so that I could follow and protect him." And he had failed, but that he didn't say. He was not interested in pointless assurance. "When it shattered, I was with him but not the same. We lost ourselves in very different ways. His memories were shattered and locked away with his name, rather violently, to pacify the darkness. Whereas I just... drifted. I lost them gradually, didn't realize they were slipping away until Seth summoned me and I didn't know him. He looked at me once and I knew that something was missing, something I should have known." 

"You said you got them back."

Mahaad chuckled, bitterly. "They were going to die. I had no choice." He remembered a saw, approaching, the sound of the past vivid and deafening. He looked on, seeing their parting point come closer and focusing on it to mute death. "He was always my tether."

 "I think you're wrong," she said just before letting go of his arm. 

"What?"

"That he's adrift when he has you. Always did."

He took a shuddering breath, rubbing his chest when it hurt to draw in. "I wish it was that simple. I do." 

"Sometimes... It is as simple as not giving up on him. Which I know is not your nature." She pulled him down to kiss him on the forehead and he ducked his head, humbled. "Go on, don't make him wait."

"Thank you, Isis," he said sincerely, simultaneously centered and mysteriously lighter. He took a step back, at once in a rush to see him. 

"I'll see you around my friend," she smiled kindly and turned, allowing him his exit. He took it, quickening his pace. 

Faced with the entry to the baths, Mahaad tried in vain to shake the overwhelming sense of foreboding that swirled in his stomach. He entered, keeping his foot steps slow but audible, as not to spook him. No sense in dwindling. 

A metal tray hitting a wall and clattering to the floor. And Mahaad ran, all pretense at nonchalance forgotten. 

He was easy to spot, a lone spot of red and gold in a semi-lit room. The splash of the water echoing and travelling when he occasionally kicked at it. "My king...?" he tried. It invoked no reaction other than the slight straightening of already tense shoulders while he scrubbed, grinding the sponge into his skin with frenzied ferocity. 

He dropped to his knees on the edge of the pool, hesitating for a moment before laying his hand on warm skin. Atem twitched, biting his lip while he kept scrubbing at raw skin. "My king," Mahaad said again, hoping, desperately. His name, say his _name_. "Atem. _Atem_ , please." 

He reached for the sponge, caught Atem's other wrist in a solid grip. Atem resisted, turning and thrashing. "No! Let me-"

"I'm not letting you hurt yourself!" Water splashed on them and around them, mixed with soap and bath oils. "Give me the sponge, Atem, _please_."

Atem put up a decent fight, but they were slipping on soap and oils alike, a mess of half empty vials not too far away. Mahaad was conscious of them only as a possible danger to his love. 

Calming Atem was priority. "Atem, _please stop_." There had to be a way to get through. Just seeing the damage he had done in the short time it took him to get there... He couldn't be too late, not again. 

He still held Atem's wrist, barely managed to wrap his other arm around him; held them both from tumbling in the water. He refused to be too late another time."Please, _my heart_."  

Atem froze. He didn't move, didn't breathe. Mahaad caught himself doing the same. The sponge fell in the water with a small, lonely sound in the false quiet. Atem unspooled all at once, his weight Mahaad's to support. 

There was no other place to be. 

"Atem?" He was inexplicably aware of the thudding of his heart, exactly where Atem's head fell and stayed. Atem breathed, the exhale morphing into a wrecked sob. 

The wish not to overwhelm him was overridden by the need to support him, to be solid for him like no one could be for him when he was confronted with everything Mahaad had once been. His arms came around the shuddering body in his arms, the action familiar in defiance to death or time. They fit together like they used to, Atem curling into his chest with his head tucked under Mahaad's chin and no room to breathe. Seth's borrowed clothes bunched in Atem's fist right by his heart. 

"Why?" 

The question surprised him, as did the dryness of Atem's voice. "Why what?"

"Why do you care," Atem went on and oh. It hurt. "All I've caused you is pain."

Mahaad drew back to look at him. He looked tired and haggard, dark shadows under his eyes betraying his turmoil and a sleepless night. When Atem attempted to pull away, dejected, Mahaad held fast. 

He caught Atem's face in his hands so he could look at him and know he was true. "Never have I been happier than when I am with you, nowhere am I more at home than where you are. If you can't trust in yourself right now- I know. _I know_ , okay?" He caught the tears with his thumbs, swept them away. "If you can trust nothing else, trust that nothing in this life or the next, not death and no hardship can change that." 

Atem was crying freely now, trying his hardest to keep his sobs in check. Mahaad's own eyes stung, heart aching. He took Atem's hand and pressed it over his heart. 

"This beats for you," he said, unaware of when his voice had dropped to a whisper. 

Atem opened his mouth to speak but all that came out was sobs. Mahaad held him again, rubbed his back, mumbling whatever it took to get him through it. 

When he could breathe again, Atem said, shaky "You called me your heart." He shook his head, knocking his forehead against Mahaad's collarbone. Mahaad mentally backtracked, unaware of when it had slipped out. But Atem went on. "You shouldn't. I don't deserve your faith, much less your heart." Atem looked at him, appearing to be studying his face. "I know you were important to him- to me. I feel that I'm missing every important part. I feel it like a hole in my chest. I'm- It feels like my bones know more than I do." Atem's hands came around his jaw, slid to his neck. Mahaad couldn't look away. "But I don't _remember_. I don't know how to _be_ Atem. You deserve better than that."

"There is no other for me," he assured him. "You will remember. Give it time."

"Even if that means I can't- can't be to you what he would- like I'm guessing I used to." 

"What I want, is for you to be able to feel at home here. You don't have to hide from us. Me and Seth, we're yours."

Atem bit his lip, torn. "You're willing to wait?"

Mahaad smiled. He gave in to the pull and brought Atem's right hand to his lips to kiss his knuckles. Softly. "I have nowhere else to be."  

Atem's breath caught, gaze drawn to their joined hands. "Even if it means I never do remember? If I'm never exactly like him?"

"But you aren't."Atem's face fell. "None of us is today who we were yesterday. You're my heart, and you're Yuugi's half, a king in many thrones. I think you will find, once you remember, that Seth isn't exactly who we left behind, and neither am I." 

"You were in the puzzle," Atem observed, hesitant. Mahaad shook his head. 

"Not exactly. I was with you." He pressed their joined hands over Atem's heart. He could tell Atem was haging from his every word with equal urgency as he held onto his body. "In here. I don't need flesh and bones to make a home in you." 

He didn't expect Atem to surge in and hug him, arms around his neck, Mahaad's clothes wet and sticky between their bodies. He held him as tightly as he needed, now that Atem was fully aware, and wished it could become true, that he could envelop Atem like this and keep him safe and content without letting go. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I don't remember."

Mahaad rested his head on Atem's. "It will be okay, you'll see." And he believed it. He had to. His eyes burned, chest tight with emotion. Not yet. Atem said nothing, but stayed a bit as if in unspoken agreement.

"I'll need time," Atem said once they had put some distance between them. "I don't-"

Mahaad cut him off before he started explaining himself. "Of course. Take all the time you need. Dear heart, you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. And for anything you need, come find us. No matter the time of day." Atem nodded. "Promise?"

"I will. Thank you," he said and shivered, hugging himself for warmth. Mahaad pushed off the floor to fetch a towel. 

Atem accepted it, holding it around his shoulders. Looking at Mahaad, he blushed. Ahh... Mahaad looked down to at his clothes, soaked through. Well. Atem cleared his throat. "I'm sorry about that, too."

"Don't apologize," Mahaad softly berated him, offering a hand to help him up. His heart skirted when Atem smiled weakly, placing his hand in his. "Let's get you dry."

He waited for Atem to dress himself and led him back to the residential wing, describing the way to the garden at his request. They parted a turn before Mahaad's rooms, and he waited until Atem disappeared in search of his target. 

He barely made it to his own quarters before emptying his stomach. Cold stone dug into his knees  with each violent shiver and the fingers of his right hand twisted in a fur as he fought his own lungs for each painful breath. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is now officially multichaptered! plz bear w me and be kind. I am terrified lmao
> 
> It's been a long time coming, and i decided it's a now or never kinda situation. I hope to see u along for the ride. 
> 
> Pls let me know what u think. U comments help me grow.

**Author's Note:**

> Cookie for your thoughts? :3
> 
> hmu on tumblr at: astralmaenad . I literally talk about nothing other than these guys.


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